A Room of My Own

Sualeha Siddiq Shekhani*

I had a writing frenzy at work right before the lockdown for Covid-19 started. Those who have the pleasure (and sometimes the pain) of writing for a living would understand the difficulty of achieving the “right” mood for writing.

Everything has to be perfect. The workspace clean and orderly. My hot mug of tea within arm’s reach. My writing notes spread out. And the writing to be done preferably in the early hours of the morning before people at the office start pouring in, and the daily activities begin.

As one can imagine, I am a firm believer in Jeanette Winderson’s advice for writing: “Turn up for work. Discipline allows creative freedom.” 

The lockdown in its own way shattered that illusion of discipline and orderliness. I attempted to wake up in the wee hours of morning in an attempt to adhere to my routine, fixed regular breakfast for myself, and sat down in front of the computer screen. The blinking cursor, day after day, stared back at me. Frustrated, I turned to other work, administrative tasks that required my attention, and collaborating with colleagues about new projects.

Writing, which has always required me to detach myself from reality, to create a separate mental space, and to completely immerse myself, proved a near impossible task to do from home.

Wrong working space. Bad lighting. And of course the comfort of my bed. Just one little nap. Books lined up on the shelf waiting to be read. I told myself, reading one chapter won’t harm anyone, in fact it may just provide me the impetus to write.

And then there are constant interruptions. One of my family members wants to talk to me about something. Of course, I am home, so I must be on a vacation. Desi people do not fully comprehend the concept of working from home. Especially for women. If I am home, then why not take part in the household chores?  Dutifully, I keep the house clean (I must admit here though, the clean freak within me also pushed me to pick up the broom).

It certainly became clearer to me why Virginia Woolf urged women to have a room of their own in order to let their writing talents flourish. My office at CBEC is that sacred space.

* Sualeha Siddiq Shekhani, MBE alumnus (2019), Senior Lecturer, Centre of Biomedical Ethics and Culture, SIUT, Karachi, Pakistan